If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
