You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
