; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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