The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You can't special order awesome
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Are we still banned from the library?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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