I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
