Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
