I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
