apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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