remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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