somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
