just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
