So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
