you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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