After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
