3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
