stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
