She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
