I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
