Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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