How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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