My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
