pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
