I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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