thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
