I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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