I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
