Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
