on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
