Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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