He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
