mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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