somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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