I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
