I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
