Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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