Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
