I hate your face
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
