i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
