I think my fart just growled at me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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