He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
