Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
