you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
