in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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