We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
