WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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