i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
