i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I AM VODKA MAN
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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