I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
