Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
