Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
