dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
