i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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