I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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