You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
